Below are the 19 most recent journal entries recorded in CaptiveUnicorn's LiveJournal:

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006
12:50 pm	Leaving LiveJournal Hello friends, This is to let you know that this is the last time I will be on livejournal. I would love to keep in touch with each of you via email however. Please email me at PassionatelyPure@gmail.com Thanks :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, April 22nd, 2006
9:42 am	Aaron Let's just say that this past year has been a tremendous time of emotional growth for me. I thank Dr. Crabbe for the medicine change that resulted in my own stability as well as significant weight loss. And then I thank Brandon for his incredible friendship . . . I always feel so transparent with him, and he challenged my emotional maturity so many times, while at the same time being incredibly accepting of my immaturity. Thank you Brandon, you are one of my dearest and closest friends. :) Then, all of a sudden, this guy pops into my life. Aaron Ledoux. With a will as strong as mine, opinions as stated as mine, and, an intuitiveness about why I do things, an acceptance of my mental illness. My parents judged him. They told me to be careful of him. After spending 7 hours on the phone with Aaron one day, I have found him to be very safe to me. He has been through so much, and I can see that he needs the acceptance and affection I have to offer. And I need his strength, and his compassion. I am curious as to where this relationship will go . . . but I already thank God for it. :) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 6th, 2006
10:09 am	Waiting . . . Well, yesterday I got an email from my enrollment counselor at Philadelphia Biblical University . . . she said she tried to call me, but that my number was "out of service". I am sooooo aggravated. We have gone through this like three times . . . she keeps calling my old home number in Oakdale! I have given her my new home number AND my cell phone number over and over and over again!!!!!!!!! One time, we had this problem, so I spoke with her secretary, and gave him my correct phone numbers. Another time, it happened again, so I emailed her my correct numbers. Lastly, I spoke with her over the phone, and corrected it again. AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! Plus, she has had my cellphone number from the beginning . . . so why doesn't she ever bother to call THAT? Grrrr. Breathe, breathe. And the only reason she would be calling me at this point is to tell me whether or not I was accepted. I'm just gonna call her today when I get off work . . . and yes, I'll be nice, PBU doesn't allow assholes to enroll, I'm sure. In other news, tomorrow I should find out whether or not I have the summer job at Old Navy in Jewett City. Goodbye Marketplace??? :( Oh yeah, I went back to the 5 lbs. weights. ;) Current Mood: hopeful (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, April 4th, 2006
4:47 pm	Nasty Ears, Old Jeans, and Manly Muscles . . . Ah, 'tis time for my sort of weekly live journal entry. :) Well . . . I had to take out all four of my cartilage piercings, forever. The reason? I have "Cauliflower Ear", a condition that can be cause by piercing the cartilage, and results in large tomourish lumps of cartilage forming around the piercings. There's nothing I can do to stop it from getting worse, except to forever ban myself from having my cartilage pierced . . . and take out the earrings. In a couple spots, the lumps were starting to move towards the front of my ears. That would have looked disgusting. Some of you know that I was very vain about my piercings, and that I wanted to have both ears done all the way around. Sigh. Now, I am reduced to just two piercings in each lobe. Sad is the day. Oh the best thing in the world. My mom pulled out of her closer a pair of loose fitting, wide leg jeans that had belonged to me about two years ago . . . however I had gotten so fat that they became 2-3 sizes too small and I disowned them. Today, I put the lovely jeans on. In fact, I am wearing them right now, They are a perfect fit, not tight at all, and they feel great. Awesome. Now to the "manly muscles" part. Well, for 2 or 3 weeks I have been pumping on a daily basis 5 lbs. weights, I am up to 60 pumps per arm. WELL. Let's just say that last night I donned my blue Guest Services uniform shirt, and ALL evening at work I was extremely uncomfortable because the sleeves were so stinkin' tight! So, while you can't see much definition at this point, underneath my layer of fat, I apparently have worked up for myself some pretty jacked biceps. HAHAHA. Um, I am definetly switching immediatly to 1 1/2 lbs. weights, THE LIGHTEST I COULD FIND. Current Mood: complacent Current Music: Naked Around You, by Avril Lavigne (Comment on this)
Monday, March 27th, 2006
9:00 pm	V for Vendetta V for Vendetta is by far one of the best dramas I have ever seen. I loved the romantic feel that the character V cast on the whole movie. This mysterious, masked individual reminded me of The Phantom of the Opera. Although V was much more likeable than the Phantom. V had a charming British accent, and was well versed in the arts. I spent the whole film longing for him to take off his mask. Yes, it is a very controversial production. When Valerie and Christine kissed, I glanced at my friend Philip, who promptly covered his eyes with his baseball cap. But really, I thought it was very tastefully done. I myself believe that a homosexual lifestyle is indeed sinful, because that is what the Bible teaches, and I believe the Bible is the inspired Word of God. However, we can't just cover our eyes and pretend that it isn't out there. And I took the point of the film not to be "homosexuality is okay", but rather, "killing people just because their lifestyle is evil, well thats monstrous". My favorite qoute from V for Vendetta was "People should not be afraid of their goverment. The government should be afraid of its people". Amen to that. I loved the subtle love story that slowly unfolded between V and Evey, although I wouldn't have been so forgiving if someone tortured and terrorized ME. Anyway, I hope to see it again while its still in theatres, and I will definetly be purchasing the dvd. Oh, by the way, a piece of art on display in V's apartment is also hanging proudly above my bed . . . Lady of Shallot, by John William Waterhouse. Run out and see this movie! (Comment on this)
4:28 pm	How I was kidnapped by two Mexicans . . . So I'm working kidgits Saturday afternoon, and the strangest thing keeps happening . . . I keep looking around expecting to see Robert walking towards me. It happens several times, and something within me just keeps saying "Robert's coming to see me today". Well after four hours of Kidgits, I spend another three at Marketplace, during which I keep looking up, thinking, "Where IS Robert? I just know he's coming to see me today". Well, lo and behold, at about 6:00pm, here comes my brown-skinned Mexican friend, baggy jeans, white tank top, collared shirt unbuttoned, and big gold crucifix hanging around his neck. Well, I am delighted to see him. I just knew he was coming to see me today, although I have no earthly idea as to WHY I know this. Anyway, Brandon comes back with Adam, so Robert and I head off to Sears so I can use the bathroom. We come back to Marketplace, and its decided that Robert will take me home at 7:00pm, eat dinner with Mom, Dad, Philip, and myself, and spend the evening with us. So at 7:00, I meet up with Robert in the entryway to the food court. He is standing there talking to some guy in a Navy uniform. Robert asks me if its okay if we make one stop. I ask where to. Robert says we need to drop this guy off on base. I say okay. So the three of us toodle down the road, onto the base, and drop this guy off at barracks. After this, Robert announces that we need to go to the Hampton Inn and pick up his friend Angel. I'm like, okay. So we drive to the inn, and out the door comes this short little Mexican guy, probably a couple inches shorter than me. THEN I'm told that we need to take Angel somewhere to get "drinks". We drive some more, until we come to a shopping center. Robert leaves the car running, and informs me that I can "play with" the air conditioner, CD Player, or CD case. I'm thinking, why can't I just come? I nod, and ask, "Where are you going?" Robert points, and says, "To where it says 'GNC'". I'm like, Okay. So I pick up my cellphone and call Janene.I'm chatting, when I look over and see Robert and Angel go NOT into GNC, but next door, into "Wine and Spirits". I'm like, hmmmmm. Eventually they come back each carrying a bag, at which point they tell me we have to go to WalMart to buy a blender . . . Sigh, I just want to go home. But, we go to WalMart, and we pick out a blender so, as I'm told, Angel and his wife can blend their drinks. But then its Robert who makes the purchase. I say something. Robert smiles that boyish Mexican grin and says "It's for making smoothies!" I'm like, right. We're standing in line, when Robert announces that he should buy some snacks. I'm like no, no snacks, checkout and take me home. Reluctantly he agrees, we check out, and then drive BACK to the inn to drop off Angel. Robert tells me I need to carry the blender up to Angel's hotel room. I sigh, then start to get out of the car. Robert grabs my arm and says he's just kidding. We ditch Angel and finally start towards my house. By the way, throughout this whole escapade, I've had a pounding migraine and now I feel like puking. Robert puts on some Christian music that I recognize. "God of Wonders" starts to play, and Robert starts to sing. I join in. His tenor with my soprano, and I felt myself lifted into the presence of God. We sing this song together, then Robert sings Butterfly Kisses, during which I cry, and then I sing an old Amy Grant song (El Shaddai). We make one more stop, so Robert can pick up snacks. Then, at 8:30pm, we finally arrive at home. My head hurt, my stomach felt sick, and I was so near to being angry with Robert. But our time together, singing to the Lord, made it all okay, made it worth the time. And that is how I was kidnapped by two Mexicans. :) (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, March 18th, 2006
1:12 pm	. . . pure, living, tension . . . So yesterday was a good day. Had to leave the house by 7:30am to go to the police station and get fingerprinted for the foster care program. The police officer, as he was rolling my fingers in black ink and pressing them to the paper, kept saying, "relax your fingers, relax your fingers". Anybody who has ever come into physical contact with me knows that I am 207 lbs. of pure, living, tension. Anyway, later on in the morning I stretched for 5 minutes, then went on a 20 minute power walk around my neighborhood. When I say power walk, I mean like, speed walking . . . fast, with my arms pumping. Anyway, my legs are very sore today, it hurts to walk at all. That makes me happy because it means I got a good workout. :) I've also been doing daily crunches . . . however I don't think I am doing them right, because I haven't felt any ache in my abdomen afterwards. Hmmmmmm . . . . . Later, I went to WalMart, where I tried on several bras, eventually choosing two. My mom has always helped me pick out my bras in the past, but this was all me, and I chose fabulously. ;) I also picked out to pairs of $1.94 sandals, hopefully those will last the summer, I went through two pairs last summer. Back the bras . . . I've gone down two cup sizes . . . Feels good to have more normal sized breasts, rather than strangely massive . . . . Eventually I went to work, and had a good evening with Brandon, then went home and had corned beef and cabbage for St. Patrick's Day. Oh, and at work I met this Native American guy who is part Blackfoot, like me, and part Mashantucket. So he was really interesting. Anyway, I'm back at work enduring the stupid modeling pageant going on in front of Filene's . . . Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: "Like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite" (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 16th, 2006
6:04 pm	Testing, testing, 1 2 3 . . . My first question to Brandon was, "Did someday stamp my forehead with the words 'Please be rude to me, I deserve it' the day I was born?" So we laughed together about how on any given work night of mine, I seem to attract at least 3 people who are just plain jerks to me. I know what it is though. Because of my current medication and because of my recent re-surrender to God, I am doing really, really well . . . spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. I'm helping out a ton around the house with different chores (without being asked), I'm taking care of my body by practicing good grooming, eating right, and exercising, and I am way less snippy or grouchy with my family. I'm also trying to pray and read my Bible more, and I'm allowing myself to use my artistic side. I'm doing great. So my theory about the constant stream of obnoxious customers is that Satan's trying to get at me somewhere. He knows I have a temper, and he's trying to get me to lose it, blow my witness, and lose my job. If you pray, please pray for strength for me, and also for a meek and gentle spirit. Pray that I would be slow to speak and slow to anger. Thank you. My God is bigger than the devil, and He is my strength. I cry out to you Abba, let me overcome this battle. I praise You, I praise You. Amen. Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: My God's Enough, by BarlowGirl (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
5:16 pm	Annie Whatever became of Annie . . . and will I ever know? Do I even want to know the truth? Did that wench Lacrisha kill my Annie? Annie was beautiful, with those great big green eyes that brimmed full of curiousity . . . I remember cradling her in my arms every day, being oh so very careful not to hurt her . . . she was always in pain. I remember calling her in for the night, she'd run across the lawn with her crooked head tilted to one side. I have pictures . . . but best of all, I have her son. Link is bigger than his mother, and he is gray with darker gray stripes, where Annie was dark gray with black stripes. But he's got those same big green eyes, and that same soft mew. Annie, wherever you are, be at peace . . . if you are alive, may you have food, a warm place to sleep, and people to hold you. If you are dead . . . be never again in pain. I don't know if animals go to Heaven, or if they just cease to exist. But I pray we will one day be reunited, and you can tell me . . . what fate became of you. I love you, sweet Annie. (Comment on this)
Monday, March 13th, 2006
8:01 pm	Yesterday was simply fabulous! After church and then lunch, Janene, Joy, and myself headed off to Mohegan Park. After my camera broke, Janene tried to save the film, and we drove to Wal-Mart and bought a slightly nicer camera . . . we once again headed to Mohegan Park. :) It was wet out, as it had just rained, the sky was gloomy, and we had a nice fresh roll of black and white film. The three of us traversed the park together, posing and taking all sorts of artistic looking pictures of each other. I was especially impressed at the awesome ideas Joy had for poses. Anyway, it was a blast, and I got to use up some this artistic energy that seems to only increase as I age. Later, the three of us headed to Mystic for a couple hours of swing dancing. I danced two dances with this guy named Steve, and we had great dance chemistry together. Our footwork was perfect, we got to do some fancy stuff, and he complimented me on my steady hand, said it made me very easy to dance with. We went home and finished watching Pride and Prejudice. Sigh. This morning I spent watching Dr. Phil with Joy and working with pastels. Now I am working on a picture for my grandmother . . . a green and yellow hummingbird surrounded by flowers. I'm not quite sure I really like my style of drawings . . . they are Art Brute . . . never how I mean them to look. Oh well. Then I spent a couple hours talking with a social worker, I'm convinced that now that she's spoken with ME, she will never give us a fosterchild. :) Abby came in and spent an hour keeping me company at work. She is Brandon's friend, but I am pleased that it would seem she is now one of my friends as well. She refers to me as "the tolerant and cuddly Christian", or simply as, "Saint Katherine". Anyway, she's very sweet and adorable, and I get the feeling an artistic genius. I am happy to have her friendship. I seem to be collecting an interesting new group of friends . . . they don't believe what I do, they don't fit in with so-called "normal" people, and they are extremely artistic and brilliant. Brandon, Jess, and Abby. Hmmmmmmm. My other group of friends are the die-hard Christians, some artistic, some not, all a little odd. I seem to fit in well with both groups, I certainly enjoy both. Current Mood: artistic Current Music: "Once . . . " by Brandon Spangler (Comment on this)
Saturday, March 11th, 2006
1:59 pm	Brandon the Snail So, Mark is still harrassing me about my confiding in him about feeling somehow less of a person than Cassy. He has accused me of wanting him to "bash Cassy", to put me "on a pedestal", and tell me "how great" I am. He also told me I should "read the Bible more". Asshole. That's right, that's the only fitting word that comes to mind. I have told him via email repeatedly that none of that was my intentions, that I myself think Cassy is wonderful, and that I certainly do NOT want him to hold me higher than I am. It doesn't seem to matter to him what I say, he has continued to throw accusations in my face for three emails. My week has been puncuated by trying to hold my all too fragile mind and unstable spirit together after reading each of these emails . . . I have tried my hardest to reply politely and calmly. In the one I just sent, I asked him to please respect my wishes to drop this topic of conversation. And he's a freakin' missionary too! Okay, so missionaries are real people too. But really each time I've opened my inbox I've been doused with my own pain, its been quite hellish. What a self-righteous, insensitive asshole. I have my automatic drawing-abstract-snail painting to Brandon yesterday. I didn't even mean to do an automatic drawing, it just kinda happened. Its of Brandon, as a snail. He is surrounded by these flaming mothmen who are attacking him and giving him all kinds of spiritual and mental distress. Brandon the snail has horns instead of antenae to defend himself. The best part is that the light of heaven is shooting down in beams, zapping the evil mothmen, and thus saving Brandon. It's really about a battle for his soul . . . The reason why it is automatic, is that I started off drawing something else, and it just turned into this, and it had all this meaning that I didn't even intend . . . . It was like, I just drew, and then I realized what the picture was saying. Weird. Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Tuesday, March 7th, 2006
7:47 pm	"Cassy Cassy Cassy" Sigh. So I confided via email to an old friend (Mark Capasso) about how I feel like no matter how hard I try to be a faithful follower of Christ and a good person I am forever in Cassy's shadow. Noone will ever see me the way they see Cassy. I'll never be as beautiful as Cassy, I'll never be as holy as Cassy. People will always fall at Cassy's feet in adoration, and then they will always turn around and tell me what a lousy slacker I am. There's no elevating myself to her position. So Mark turned around and wrote to me what a rotten attitude I have about the whole thing, and basically told me that I AM far below the great Cassy because I have a problem with this whole thing to begin with. You can't win, or at least I can't. :) I almost wish she'd never come back, because that means once again enduring the Cassy Fan Club every day of my life. The problem is, she's like a sister to me, I adore her, and I miss her. Why don't I have a fan club? I'd really LIKE to have a fan club. I mean, I'm pretty, I dress classy, I'm not a whore, I hardly ever cuss, I read my Bible almost every day, I pray every day (throughout the day), I try to evangelize, and I try to constantly encourage and uplift other people. . . . Jessie just came by and told me that SHE'S part of the Katie Fan Club. :) That's one member, yay!!! Current Mood: frustrated (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 28th, 2006
9:14 pm	mineral baths and ginseng mists Ah, its been a while. Well, I've moved into the new house with my parents, cats, and dog. Its a beautiful house in a lovely neighborhood, and I really, really like it, alot. I had a good day today. This morning I took a Freesia mineral bath, during which I read my Bible, wrote in my prayer journal, listened to Charlotte Church (opera singer), and shaved my legs (and armpits). I feel great. Oh, and for the record, I am wearing socks that say "Star"!!! I'm a star!!!! NO, I went on this fabulous shopping spree at Job Lot yesterday, got all kinds of scented bath stuff, and a bunch of socks. Tomorrow morning, Jessie is coming over to highlight my hair, oh yeah, I'm gonna look snazzy. And then I have to go see Dr. Crabbe, my psychiatrist. But then Brandon is coming over (yay!) to watch The Last Unicorn with me. It'll be a pretty happenin' day. I am wearing this awesome body mist that has like wild mint and ginseng and stuff in it, its pretty kool. Well, I guess that's all . . . . (Comment on this)
Tuesday, February 21st, 2006
11:36 am	Why? Why put me in that position??? So last night at work, this Indian family walks up . . . I see them regularly. The dad seems very nice, he is always signing his friends up for the Kidgits club. The mom on the other hand, she's a real bitch to put it truthfully, she's usually really rude to me for no reason. Then the two kids . . . it was the little girl's 8th birthday, and they had brought in with them her Kidgits birthday card. So I took the card and went and got a bag with a puzzle and a card game for sweet little Poorva. I hand Poorva the gift, and her bratty little brother, whose probably 5, starts screaming and crying. So what does good old Mom do? She takes out the puzzle and tries to give it to Brat Child. Well Brat Child apparently wants the WHOLE birthday gift, because he keeps screaming his nasty, bratty little head off. THEN, mom decides to give Brat Child the whole bag, both gifts included. I am apalled, and I'm watching Poorva just standing there quietly, and I feel horrible for her. THEN, OH IT GETS BETTER. Mom and Dad hand the bag back to me, and instruct ME to give it to Brat Child. Now I'm really upset. Don't put me in that freaking position, please. They keep shoving it at me and insisting that I give it to Brat Child. I just stare at them blankly, pretending I don't understand as long as I can, not quite finding the words or the balls to say, "But it's HER'S!!!" Finally they bully me to the point that I take the bag and shove it at Brat Child. OH he just KEEPS SCREAMING. Finally Mom takes the bag and they leave . . . . and I feel like a jackass, poor Poorva. Sigh. Sometimes work sucks . . . . Current Mood: frustrated (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 17th, 2006
2:52 pm	"It's like a FREAK show, in your neighborhood . . . " WELL, since I freaked the snot out of everyone who read my LAST entry, so much so that noone dared to comment . . . I will write again. :) I am at work . . . I am wearing my sexy purple club top . . . yes of course with the ugly, manly blue shirt over it, unbuttoned! My breasts are getting some much needed air. ;) Nothing much new . . . I rebelled and refused to wear a bladder control pad today. That's right, Katie has a bladder control problem. I actually plan on seeing a urulogist and seeing if I can have surgery to correct my issue. I have had this problem my whole life, but it seems to get progressively worse as I get older. Well isn't that attractive? Anyway, normally I wear like a poise pad, but yesterday I felt like I was wearing a diaper, so I refused to wear one today, just a little pantyliner instead, since I have my (dum dum) period. :P My motto is "Pee as often as possible". This avoids accidents. ANYWAY, I'm hungry. I'm on the second day of my Slim-Fast diet. Slim-Fast shake for breakfast, another one for lunch, drink a bunch of water in between, and a balanced low-calorie meal for dinner. Yesterday was my first day doing this, and in one day I lost 1 lbs! You know what stinks? Spence just informed me that my hours are going from 30 a week to 20, since business is so bad. Man, I'm gonna miss that extra ten hours in my paycheck. I thought about applying at Victoria's Secret, just because then I could count myself amongst what everyone in the mall knows as "those hot babes that work at Victoria's Secret". I too, given the right outfits, could be counted amongst these elite. Anyway, I think I'm just gonna keep working at marketplace, enjoy the extra time off, and hope for more hours in the spring . . . . Current Mood: amused Current Music: Toby Mac (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 15th, 2006
5:07 pm	"I'm not the milk and cheerios in your spoon . . . " So I'm just chillen' at work. Had a great Valentine's Day with Janene yesterday. Told her my deepest, darkest secret . . . . oh you want to know? Okay, I'll tell you. I used to be attracted to other girls. It's true. But don't go spreading that around, I never acted on it. I remember trying to tell my therapist . . . she was like, "No, you just look at them and wish you looked like them, that's all it is". HELLO. I know the difference between envy and attraction, okay. And since I would check girls out exactly the same as I would check guys out, and since I would have thoughts . . . . okay, let's just make it clear that Katie may have possibly been bisexual at one point in time. It lasted a few years, and then maybe around a year ago, it just stopped. Thank God, because being bisexual would go against everything I believe. Now I can observe a group of scantily glad girls walk by, and instead of thinking, "Mmmmmmm, nice", I tend to think, "Why are they dressed like whores?". But the attraction? Completely gone. I guess if you supress something for enough years, it will die of suffocation. And now that I have shocked everyone reading this . . . . on to other things. I sent off my completed application and transcripts to Philadelphia Biblical Institute. I am sooooo excited. I know they'll accept me, my gpa is good, my essays are awesome, and they've already offered me a $7,000 scholarship for each semester I'm there, provided I maintain a 3.0. Now to come up with the other $5,000 each semester. I'm not worried about it. I'd say I'm goin'!!!!! Pretty dang excited too. :) Current Mood: good Current Music: Avril Lavigne (Comment on this)
Monday, February 13th, 2006
7:52 pm	"Jesus is my Valentine" Well, tomorrow is my least favorite day of the year, Valentine's Day. But I have some pretty rockin' plans with Janene. We intend to sleep in, then get up and make biscuits for breakfast, then we will eat them with honey on top, yum. Eventually, we will take our showers, do our hair and makeup, and put on dressy clothes. I will wear my black pants, black Mary Janes, purple spaghetti strap baby doll top, and purple shrug. I'm gonna look HOT, this is what I wore on my dinner . . . um, "non-date" with Mark, and he was a mess!!! Hahahaha. Yeah, a little cleavage does peek out of that top, so that's probably why. Honestly, it makes me feel exposed, but I kinda like it. ANYWAY. Should I wear my hair down or up? If I was trying to impress a guy, I'd totally wear it down, guys are suckers for long hair, but I'm just trying to feel sexy for myself, so I think I will wear it twisted up in a clip, with a couple tendrils hanging down. Hmmmmm. Anyway. So Janene and I are gonna listen to this CD I have, To Date Or Not To Date, with Joshua Harris as the speaker. He advocates courtship, rather than dating, Janene has always been pro-courtship, and me? Well I have dated myself blue in the face and come to the conclusion that its a lousy system. We are going to go to Wal-Mart and pick out a couple of sewing kits and a couple of handkerchiefs. This was Janene's idea. I am going to embroider my initials on a handkerchief, save it, and one day give it to that one special man that finally comes along. Sounds weird huh? You have to understand, I read Jane Austen, and I have medieval paintings all over my room, one in particular of a young woman tying her handkerchief to the spear of a knight. We are also going to go to Hallmark and do my idea . . . pick out Valentine's cards to write in and put away for our husbands. Then we are going to the movies to see Hoodwinked, and then to dinner at Ruby Tuesdays where everyone will think we are lesbians for sure, and I will drink a virgin margarita. And that, is tomorrow, Valentine's Day! HAHAHAHAHAHA. ;) Current Mood: good (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 11th, 2006
2:28 pm	No man's baby . . . Hello hello, I feel fabulous today. Life is good, and I have no idea why . . . maybe it's just that my MIND is good, at peace, joyful, content. I feel perfectly satisfied with my single status. It's really okay, I don't need a man and frankly I don't know one I would feel it would be worth putting forth my time and attention for. Yes, I sound like a snob, and maybe I am one. Actually, I have come to believe that I am the snobbiest of snobs, a goody-goody even. It doesn't seem to bother anyone and it certainly isn't on purpose, so I guess it doesn't really matter. Valentine's Day is coming . . . it would be nice if I had a Valentine, but I never do have one, so what's new? Things have been strange lately . . . every day I have men hitting on me . . . at work, in restraunts, in stores . . . . and it is degrading. It's totally degrading to have some punk walk past you and say, "How you doin' baby?" Let it be known I am NO MAN'S BABY, and NO ONE has the right to call me "baby" or "sweetie" or "honey" until he's looked deeply into my heart, and come to love me as something precious and meaningful. I do believe in true love. And I believe it will find me. I don't know when, I don't know where, I don't know who. But HE is out there. A man who loves Jesus Christ as much as I do, a man who believes in sexual purity until the marriage bed, and a man who will love me as a part of himself, heart, body, and soul. To this mystery man, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, I love you, and I am trying my hardest to wait you out . . . (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 6th, 2006
1:52 pm	ah, yes, I am sick. since the day broke I have thrown up multiple times, am freezing cold, and have a pounding headache. It could be stress related, as a former friend of mine is doing her best to put out the fires of any romantic happiness in my life. No, I am not going to slam her as she did me on her website. All I will say is, Erin is a liar, and that is the one flaw that I cannot abide. I committed the crime of being asked to a dinner by a very sweet, very funny older man who happens to be her friend. I don't care what she says, all of her behavior since this event occurred simply screams that she is angry, and jealous. Well congratulations Erin, Mark is ignoring me, you've won! Now you can continue the fantasy of his affection until your husband comes home from jail. As for Mark, I cannot blame him, I mean, how is he to know the difference between my honest truthfulness and her vicious lies? I guess it wasn't meant to be . . . . Perhaps I have Lithium poisoning. I did up my dose and I have not been drinking water like I ought to, so that is possible. Thank you to the friends at work who believe me, I have no proof, only my character and lifestyle to offer. It is hard not to be unkind, not to look down my nose at her, not to say nasty things. But really, that would just be stooping to her level. I pray I remain bigger than that. (2 Comments |Comment on this)